From Red Flag to Love Brags

Tuesday, May 21, 2024

From Single-to-Spouse Blog/Faith/From Red Flag to Love Brags

From Red Flags to Love Brags

Have you ever noticed how, after you buy a new car, you see that car everywhere? We call this frequency illusion or bias the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. The reality is the same number of cars were on the road before you purchased your car; you just paid them no attention. This phenomenon occurs with everything: words, names, houses, fashion, and more.

You don’t believe me? Let’s put this to the test. Take a minute and look around the space that you’re in. Pay attention to the red items. How many red things do you count in the space? Did you notice these items before I asked you to look? Chances are, you did not.

Now, let’s think about this in terms of the characteristics we look for in individuals, especially if we are Christian dating over 40. How does our perception of people influence how we feel about them?

Most of us look for the “red flags” in relationships. How do I know? Think about the number of people you’ve heard say, “There are no good available men.” or “All the women are hoochie mammas.”

What if, instead, we put the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon to the test in our relationships? What if we choose to look for the amazing qualities we desire rather than focusing on potential red flags? We attend to the qualities and characteristics that we want instead of what we don’t want. What do you think you will start seeing?

I challenge you in this next week, to put this relationship tip to the test. Then let me know how it works out by emailing me at

Perception is a powerful tool. By approaching faith-based dating in this way, we will open up new possibilities. Putting a boundary around our negative thoughts will allow us to see more good. Let’s transform our relationships by focusing on the positive. Then watch how your relationships become more satisfying, joyful, and fulfilling.

Take advantage of my free, 30-minute "Ignite Love" Discovery Call. Schedule it today. ~ Dr. Paula

#relationships #singles #ChristianRelationships #Love #RedFlags #Baader-Meinhof #relationship tips #faithbaseddating #LoveBrags @drpaulacperez

Dr. Paula C. Perez is an educator, author, speaker, and coach dedicated to empowering single women of faith to love and embrace themselves in this season as they prepare for the next. Dr. Paula draws from her 49-year experience as a never-married, sexless single. The lessons she learned on her journey to love and marriage developed her 4-STEP ® framework. These keys help singles unlock their love and so much more.

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Meet Dr. Paula C. Perez 

CEO Of DrP & Me, LLC,
Author | Educator | Speaker | PK | Pastor's Wife |Saved Single-to-Spouse Support Coach

Dr. Perez is a top speaker and relationship coach with a B.S., M.S., C.A.S., and Ed.D. She is a SYMBIS certified Coach and , Nationally Board Certified Teacher who works with single women of faith, using her 4-STEP™ framework to help them enjoy this season as they prepare for the next by doing it God’s way.

She is married and lives in upstate New York.

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